Only guessing, but if @Santa's sidekick's email address contains a gender specific name then it might have been appropriate to run with "Sir." That approach is going to lead to some mistakes though:
An email which begins with 'Dear Sir/Madam' but goes on to state 'I have been informed that you are a trustworthy fellow blah blah give me 10K' gets an 'F' for 'effort', in my book.
OK, I thought that was maybe what you meant but I wondered if I was missing some subtlety over the meaning of "madam" in a particular area!
Nintendos new guy
Um, Nintendo? You might want to do a little background check on the new guy you just hired. Something tells us he might be planning something salacious.
The video game company announced on Wednesday that they have appointed a new Vice President of Sales. His name? Doug Bowser.
Nintendo hired Bowser.
So you brought on a guy who has the same name as the main villain from your most famous video game series? The dinosaur/lizard who kidnaps the princess every damn time and spends his days trying to set two plumber brothers on fire? Kidnapper, attempted murderer of your flagship character for over 30 years...that's the guy you went with, huh?
...
"Nintendo of America has hired a new Vice President to lead the United States sales organization with a name that's well-known in the Mushroom Kingdom. Effective today, Doug Bowser (no relation to the King Koopa and Mario's longtime nemesis) will oversee a variety of sales-related functions, including Sales, In-store Merchandising, Retail Strategy and Retail Marketing."
No relation? Yeah, right. That's what he wants us to believe.
From tech@theonion.com Thu May 9 12:07:39 1996
Date: Wed, 08 May 1996 23:33:49 -0600
From: tech <tech@theonion.com>
To: reece@dasher.wustl.edu
Subject: INFO: Fans of "Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia"
To all fans of "Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia",
In recent months the news story, "Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia",
has been highly circulated around the internet without attribution to
the original authors/creators. This story was originally written for
and published in _the ONION_, a satirical news weekly based in
Madison, WI. The unauthorized distribution of "Clinton Deploys Vowels
to Bosnia" preceded the launch of our new web-site which is located at
_http://www.theonion.com_. This site is now the official home of
"Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia" as well as other award winning news
stories such as "Christ Returns to NBA" and "Point Counter-Point:
Humidity".
If you have downloaded and posted this story on a web-page, as a
courtesy to _the ONION_ (and to avoid a lengthy legal battle in which
you would be crushed) please provide a link to the official ONION
web-site and credit the story as having "originally appeared in the
ONION, Number One In News".
Truly,
The Editors
the ONION, Number One In News
(http://www.theonion.com)
My other favorite onion. My son is autistic; I'm allowed.
That's hilarious, but also insensitive.... Now I'm in limbo, don't know whether to laugh or be outraged... you ruined my life.I'd think they'd upload their archives if it were possible, particularly if it were that popular. But I digress.
My other favorite onion. My son is autistic; I'm allowed.
Ditto for vampire movies - 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter' marked the end of that genre, imo; and in fact it wouldn't surprise me if a thousand years hence the beginning of the end of our civilisation is dated from the release of that movie.
