Debunked: "You must love yourself before you love another" - fake Buddha quote

Rory

Senior Member.
I'm sure we've all heard the line "you must love yourself first, before you can truly love another" - and maybe even tried to apply it - but, notwithstanding the dubiousness of the advice, where does it come from?

Lately I've seen it ascribed to Buddha, with additional text, such as at AZ Quotes:
The first two sentences appear to be taken from the 1974 book 'The Nature of Personal Reality' by Jane Roberts:
The third sentence appears to be from Sharon Salzberg's 1995 book, “Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness":
Nothing in Buddhist scripture, however, matches these words.

How the two quotes became joined together may be as a result of a 2012 blog post at psychology today.com: "The 50 Best Quotes on Self-Love". In the section titled "Love Yourself"...
See also: https://fakebuddhaquotes.com/you-yo...tire-universe-deserve-your-love-and-affection for a possible explanation of why Salzberg credited those words to Buddha, as well as other further details (great site)
 
Last edited:

qed

Senior Member
 

deirdre

Senior Member.
here in 1979 some Buddhist guy is talking about Buddha's "Love yourself" (page 65) quote and how if you love others without first loving yourself then it is ego.
http://www.oshorajneesh.com/download/osho-books/buddha/DhammapadVol5.pdf

so maybe its one of those quotes where they 'simplify' it, to get a general idea [of Buddha's] across. I don't want to study Buddha's love 'yourself ideas' to find out though.
 

Rory

Senior Member.
Good work! :)

I subsequently found the matching quote in a 1974 'Seth' book, and updated the OP accordingly.

The "Buddhist guy" you mention is famed cult leader Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh - now more commonly known as 'Osho' - whose followers were the subject of a recent Netflix series, 'Wild, Wild Country'.

He was a man who played fast and loose with his quotes too - among other things - and I'd say the one he was referring to above is another he's put his own spin on. It's actually chapter 12 of the Dhammapada: a more traditional translation might begin, "If one regards oneself as dear, one should guard oneself right well [...] should establish oneself in what is suitable" as opposed to Osho's "Love yourself [...] establish yourself in the Way."

He was known as "the sex guru" and his followers carried automatic weapons. Not that Buddhist, really. ;)
 
Last edited:

Bodhipaksa

New Member
He was known as "the sex guru" and his followers carried automatic weapons. Not that Buddhist, really. ;)

He was not Buddhist in any sense at all, actually. He might best be described as "neo-Hindu." He was from a Hindu background but did his own thing. He never identified himself as a Buddhist.

And thanks, everyone, for tracking down the references. I'd already written up the Salzberg quote on my Fake Buddha Quotes site, but wasn't aware of the Roberts' quote until Rory brought it to my attention.

It's great to know that this site exists. Keep it up!
 

Rory

Senior Member.
The third sentence appears to be from Sharon Salzberg's 1995 book, “Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness":

According to the Buddha, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

https://books.google.es/books?id=-M9T8W9-I2MC&pg=PA31

Nothing in Buddhist scripture, however, matches these words.​
As pointed out by Bodhipaksa on his own website, the Salzberg quote first appeared about six years earlier, in a magazine called 'Woman of Power' (either issue 12, 13, or 14). In an article titled 'Paths of the Heart: Loving Ourselves', she wrote:
While the second quote is, at best, a well-intentioned but questionable alternative interpretation of Udana 5.1, the first is more or less right, coming from verse 5 of the Dhammapada:
"Non-hatred" is not the same as "love" - it's a broad term that could encompass all manner of states of mind and actions - but the word "love" is perhaps more pleasing to our modern sensibilities, and better fitted Salzberg's agenda during the writing of the article and the book.

That said, there are other texts which elaborate on what non-hatred (of another person) might look like, such as sutta 5.161 of the Aṅguttara Nikāya, which advises: developing good will, or compassion, or equanimity; paying no attention to them; or contemplating and understanding why they are the way they are - most of which could be interpreted as "loving".

Nowhere in there, however, do we find support for Salzberg's assertion that Buddha was also talking about "self-hatred" and "self-love", or that he advised we "discover the meaning of true intimacy with ourselves."

'Tis a shame people feel they have to make stuff up to support what are already good and harmless ideas in their own right.​
 
Last edited:

David Fraser

Senior Member.
Purely anecdotal but I studied Carl Rogers and person centred counselling. The phrase came up quite a lot but not quite a lot that I can pin the source down.
 
Thread starter Related Articles Forum Replies Date
deirdre Debunked:'Everyone must Check In Sign' evidence of FEMA Drill Sandy Hook 25
Mick West Debunked: Kids saying "Kite hit steel plane must" in class on 9/11 9/11 12
Mick West Debunked: "we must either reduce the earth's population to 1 billion ..." Quotes Debunked 74
TEEJ Debunked: Claim that Joe Biden's hand passes through microphone during White House press gaggle, 16th March 2021 Election 2020 8
bird_up Debunked: "Interdimensional being" caught on CCTV in Neza, Mexico UFOs, Aliens, Monsters, and the Paranormal 6
M Debunked: Atmospheric pressure on Mars is 9 PSI, not 0.09 PSI as claimed by NASA Science and Pseudoscience 45
Patrick Gonzalez Debunked: missing cable on Perseverance landing footage proves it is fake. General Discussion 3
TEEJ Debunked: Biden's Oval Office "Coming Apart at the Seams" [It's a Door] Election 2020 19
derrick06 Debunked: UFO over California Highway (TMZ) UFOs, Aliens, Monsters, and the Paranormal 1
P Debunked: 7 Alleged photos of aliens UFOs, Aliens, Monsters, and the Paranormal 8
Mick West Debunked: Biden signing "Blank" Executive Orders Election 2020 5
Mick West Debunked: Biden in "Fake" Oval Office Election 2020 27
P Debunked: UN hidden camera: the first UFO contact happened [Deep Fake] UFOs, Aliens, Monsters, and the Paranormal 3
Mick West Debunked: 94% of Fulton County Ballots Manually Adjudicated [It's a Process all Batches go Through] Election 2020 0
Mick West Debunked: "Missile Strike" caused Nashville Explosion General Discussion 3
Mick West Debunked: Nashville Explosion was "Across the Street" from the RV General Discussion 0
Mick West Debunked: "Error rate of 68.5% Allowable is .0008%" [Neither is True] Election 2020 4
Mick West Debunked: Claim that the Electoral College Count On Jan 6 will Change the Election Election 2020 136
Rory Debunked: Einstein wrote "blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth" Quotes Debunked 12
Mick West Debunked: Navid Keshavarz-Nia's Claims of "A Sudden Rise in Slope" as Election Fraud Evidence Election 2020 5
Mick West Debunked: Trump's Claim of "1,126,940 votes created out of thin air" in PA Election 2020 8
Mick West Debunked: Crowder's "Fraud Week" Title Graphic (and Why it Matters) Election 2020 1
JFDee Debunked: Democratic senators complained about 'vote switching' by Dominion voting machines in 2019 Election 2020 2
Mendel Debunked: The Democrats are trying to take away freedom of religion Election 2020 6
H Debunked: Dr. Shiva's Scatterplot Analysis of Michigan Precincts Election 2020 43
Mick West Debunked: Suspicious "Biden Only" Ballots in Georgia Election 2020 3
Mick West Debunked: "Nancy Pelosi's long time Chief of Staff is a key executive at Dominion Voting" Election 2020 0
Mick West Debunked: Wisconsin Turnout 89% Impossible High [Actually 72%] Election 2020 1
Mick West Debunked: Video of Poll Worker "Filling In" Ballots. Election 2020 3
Mick West Debunked: Pentagon has Evidence of "Off-World Vehicles Not Made on this Earth" UFO Videos and Reports from the US Navy 14
derrick06 Debunked: United Nations creates a "NWO" website Conspiracy Theories 2
N Debunked: Google Mail icon shows linkage to Freemasons Conspiracy Theories 4
Mendel Debunked: The WHO did not take the Taiwan CDC seriously Coronavirus COVID-19 0
A Why 9/11 Truthers Are Wrong About The Facts | (Part 1 w/ Mick West) 9/11 1
Mendel Debunked: Radar Waves Affect Clouds General Discussion 0
Pumpernickel Need Debunking: Foucault's Pendulum debunked through Mach's principle (the Earth is a static object in the center of the Universe) Science and Pseudoscience 16
M Ufos arrive to the central zone of Chile. (Debunked). Skydentify - What is that Thing in the Sky? 0
Jesse3959 FE Debunked with water tube level - 187 foot building 21.2 miles away below eye level Flat Earth 0
H Debunked: Cadillac Mountain from 220 miles Flat Earth 7
Jesse3959 FE Claim Debunked: JTolan Epic Gravity Experiment - Flat earther disproves Perspective! (or his instruments.) Flat Earth 0
Mick West Debunked: DoD prepares for martial law in CONUS: Conspiracy Theories 0
Oystein Debunked: AE911T: CNBC Anchor Ron Insana claims Building 7 a Controlled Implosion 9/11 13
A Debunked: NASA tampered with the original television audio of the Apollo 11 moon landing Conspiracy Theories 1
Greylandra Debunked: media headline "Judea declares war on Germany" [boycott] Conspiracy Theories 20
Mick West Discovery Channel's "Contact: Declassified Breakthrough" was debunked 2.5 years ago UFOs, Aliens, Monsters, and the Paranormal 8
Joe Hill Debunked: "The North Face of Building 7 Was Pulled Inward" 9/11 66
A Debunked : Fake Set Moon Landing with TV Camera and Stairs Conspiracy Theories 3
Mick West Debunked: Photo with Sun Rays at Odd Angles Flat Earth 0
Staffan Debunked: Wikileaks releases unused footage of moon landing (Capricorn One movie scenes) Conspiracy Theories 2
Mick West Debunked: Neil deGrasse Tyson : "That Stuff is Flat" Flat Earth 10
Related Articles


















































Related Articles

Top