Debunking Humor...

Cat spy in the UK, EU Foreign office ?
http://thechive.com/2016/05/26/brit...content=9vRv&utm_medium=Paid&utm_term=May2016
cat_spy.jpg

Same story, more links .... https://www.buzzfeed.com/emilyashto...an-look-at-him?utm_term=.dpz8BRDPr#.pjq10d2pV

The foreign secretary has been forced to deny that the new Foreign Office cat is actually a spy for the European Union.

Palmerston arrived in the department last month after being recruited from Battersea Dogs and Cats Home to deal with a mouse infestation.

But Philip Hammond faced questions on Tuesday as to whether the 2-year-old moggy was in fact a mole working for the European Commission.
Content from External Source
 
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/...-possibly-be-running-this-mess-20160724111302

Since the dawn of the internet, bedroom-based conspiracy theorists have thought society was controlled by a shadowy ‘Illuminati’ who somehow have the manpower to run everything.

Tom Logan, from Stevenage, said: “If they are running it then someone needs to be sacked.

“Or sacrificed, if that’s what they do.”

Racist, Norman Steele added, “I used to think the Jews were running everything. But they seem pretty organised, so I can’t imagine they’d be behind this mess.”
Content from External Source
 
Two thirsty guys walk into a bar.
One guy says, "I'll have an H20."
The other guy says, "I'll have an H20 too".

The other guy dies.
 
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Leifer said:
Two thirsty guys walk into a bar.
One guy says, "I'll have an H20."
The other guy says, "I'll have an H20 too".

The other guy dies.
Click to expand...

This is definitely one of those "you have to say outloud" jokes.

Very similar to:

There were 32 cows in a field and 28 chickens, how many didnt? (the answer is 12.. if that helps any)
 
Svartbjørn said:
This is definitely one of those "you have to say outloud" jokes.

Very similar to:

There were 32 cows in a field and 28 chickens, how many didnt? (the answer is 12.. if that helps any)
Click to expand...
sorry to be Mr Pedantic, but cows are herbivores.
I have also heard this as 32 cows in a field and 28 chicken. ( which COULD be interpreted as chickening out, so the answer could be 4, AND would be consistent with the cows NOT being mutant carnivorous cows)
 
Hofnarr said:
I'm still puzzled... what?..
Do I not understand it because I'm not native english speaking?
Click to expand...
It's similar to the joke "Why was 6 afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9" in that it plays on the fact that the letter 8 spoken aloud sounds like the word 'ate'.
Thus, the joke sounds like "There were thirty two cows in a field and twenty ate chickens, how many didn't?"
To which the answer is 12: 32-20.
 
Holy Irony said:
"Hey ! We don't serve faster-than-light particles in here !" the barman said.
A tachyon walks into a bar.
Click to expand...

How did he know that a "faster-than-light" tachyon was walking into the bar ? (or was already there)
Was the bartender "fastier" than the faster-than-light tachyon ?




Obviously, the bartender didn't see him coming :oops: .......and was speaking of general policy, and a lucky coincidence of verbal words occurred.

(or it was ESP)
 
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... Now my nonsensical joke is even more nonsensical.

Anyway, an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a (suitably large) bar. The first mathematician orders one beer. The second orders one half of a beer. The third orders one third of a beer. The fourth one orders one fourth of a beer.
Fed up, the barman goes : "Fine, fine, I get it !" and puts two beers on the counter.
"You gave us too much !" the mathematicians protest.


How many coders does it take to change a lightbulb ?
None. They can't : it's hardware.
 
Hofnarr said:
I'm still puzzled... what?..
Do I not understand it because I'm not native english speaking?
Click to expand...

Don't feel bad Hofnarr... English aside, generally speaking the more intelligent a person the more difficult that play on words is to wrap your head around. The first time I literally heard that joke, it took me an hour to wrap my head around it... I had to write it down before it made sense.
 
tinkertailor said:
It's similar to the joke "Why was 6 afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9" in that it plays on the fact that the letter 8 spoken aloud sounds like the word 'ate'.
Thus, the joke sounds like "There were thirty two cows in a field and twenty ate chickens, how many didn't?"
To which the answer is 12: 32-20.
Click to expand...
Damn and I was thinking too hard on this one and missed the easy way... I know the 7 8 9 joke but didn't get the connection.. Thanks :D
 
Holy Irony said:
... Now my nonsensical joke is even more nonsensical.

Anyway, an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a (suitably large) bar. The first mathematician orders one beer. The second orders one half of a beer. The third orders one third of a beer. The fourth one orders one fourth of a beer.
Fed up, the barman goes : "Fine, fine, I get it !" and puts two beers on the counter.
"You gave us too much !" the mathematicians protest.


How many coders does it take to change a lightbulb ?
None. They can't : it's hardware.
Click to expand...
Quick nerdy correction: the third one orders one fourth of a beer, the fourth one orders one eighth of a beer and so on .... ;-)
 
A Translation of common Scientific Research Phrases
This list of phrases and their translations (definitions) might help you understand the mysterious language of science in general and medicine / biology specifically. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation, academic paper or journal article at a university anywhere on earth.
phd.jpg
http://www.smart-words.org/humor-jokes/language-humor/research-phrases-meaning.html
 
My original post is a bit embarrassing. I would never communicate that way any longer.... I'd give much more respect these days and I would not fool around or go off topic to such an extreme like I did back in 2011.
This forum board, I have to thank for that.., and for my improvement (but not yet perfection).
 
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