I was just in the thread talking about the psychology of chemtrail believers and just felt like I'd share a story of the past in here...
About 2-3 years ago, after months on end of sitting in my basement smoking weed and playing video games. Not eating properly or drinking enough water, sitting inches away from a 50 inch television screen, wasting my life on what I 'knew' to be an illuminati mind control weapon to control the masses. One night (morning) I was not sleeping properly, in very poor health had an experience what they call psychosis. I thought I was being spied on in the videogame BY the "shadow government" because of my background on Facebook and the 'knowledge' I was aware of, combined with the fact I probably spent more time playing this game than 99% of people who played this particular game "call of duty". I thought I was being hacked, checked my Facebook to contact my computer nerd friend to see if he could help and all these other things started coming into the picture, I tried calling my mom to warn her and my sister to stop using Facebook because it couldn't be safe. I thought I was being targeted for various reasons. I thought something had happened to my mom when I tried to call her, turns out I called the wrong number and I was suspicious of the guy who answered who claimed to have not known where she was in a weird kind of way that led me to panic and believe that he had done something to her. I had called the last number that phoned and though it was hers. Anyways, that turned out to not be true.
So i called the police and had sort of a breakdown, they sent two cops over to check me out, and sure enough, they had seen who I was, a pale, underweight, lifeless looking zombie who had spent the past few months in a basement playing call of duty without sleeping properly or anything like that. I was quite embarrassed and disgusted in myself, it had come to this because just last year I had actually completed a police camp and was trying to do better with my life.
During this conspiracy I had a lot of ups and downs...
I was taken to the hospital where I had to sit and wait to be processed, had some cool conversations with the police officers and I can say at that point they probably saved my life, they were very friendly and calm throughout the whole situation, I explained things and they were relating to me how they used to play games growing up but it was never like it was today, so they could see the whole addiction aspect of things. I had actually let them in my house so I could get dressed properly and was fairly cooperative, I did explain to them my story but they knew what was better for me.
So anyway, I was sitting in the part of the hospital where it was pretty packed full of many different people who were in there for various things. I was hooked up to an IV and had my own small room with a bed to sleep in, it was the most intense part of my life in the sense there I was completely untidy looking like a zombie without sleep looking crazy in front of all these other people who were also going through hard times. I had been up for probably 24 hours at that point.
I was being interviewed by some lady with my mom, and the expression of my mom when she saw me I think shattered her on the inside. The lady could not even talk to me because of the claims I was making were so "in the rabbit hole" I don't think anyone else has experienced this before and during the convo before she walked out I pointed out the chemtrail flying outside the window seen in the sky calling it a Chemtrails and all this stuff. I was so far out of reality back then..
So they got me off the pot, the video games, had me eating food and drinking water at consistent times throughout the day, some medications as well and going to sleep by 9pm. FOR TWO WEEKS, I felt like I was in there against my will and I had no idea what to do, I thought it was all apart of it. They were monitoring me, they knew what happened, they knew who I was. And they were 'brainwashed' carrying out orders, but I still had some of 'me' left inside I knew that they were real people and meant well. My biggest frustration was that I knew what I saw and never got to articulate what had actually happened to them and there wasn't much resolution with my side of the story. Their story was I was imagining what I had seen or experienced.
So after I was released, I was doing follow up with a case worker my grandpa had suggested I get in contact with to help me not fall down the hole I was in again. He had tried before(another story), but this time something actually stuck. I was cooperating, my life was still very unorganized and I was still a bit of a mess but I was pulling myself together, I had taken the brain exams where they hook up electrodes and scan your brain for activity and everything showed up clean and there were no problems except for what I was hiding from them... my whole belief structure about chemtrails and new world order where everyone in government is apart of a big problem doing evil things. After a year I was released and within that time I had stumbled across some more things to help me self improve... people on an online forum claiming quitting videogames and... porn, had improved their lives. So I started doing that and getting interested in health and nutrition and bettering myself and become healthy.
It's been a long journey since then and I like to say my life is finally getting into much better shape. I'm registered for school, I use schedules to fill my time with awesome stuff, I keep a blog on my Facebook now, I'm learning new things and I've got an awesome exercise routine where I can workout in my back yard. I also got involved in many of the alternative health aspect of things, like Superfoods, herbs and stuff like that. I got a few jobs which is why I was able to afford, pull up bars for my backyard and a skipping rope and a water distiller which filters the water and some other things. I started reading books about a year ago and I'm rereading them now again. I'm trying to better myself and become much healthier, starting a new journey...... I got to bed at 9 pm and wake up at 5 am and eat proper amounts of food throughout the day, I'm trying to put on a healthy amount of weight in a healthy way.
My life is starting to get structured which I think has helped me come to realize this site is not full of trolls, but full of people who genuinely care about finding the truth and putting water on the flames that leave people down this crazy path of disillusion that the whole world out there is not safe and out to get us. It's all a conspiracy and we're being monitored everywhere and basically living in a giant jail cell. You guys should be awarded for the effort and time you've put into this and welcomed with open arms to people in groups whom I thought I was proud to be apart of. It all seems clear to me that everything (almost) is the exact opposite of what I thought to be true.
I'm thinking of confessing these things to my doctor and try to find a counselor or psychologist or therapist to perhaps help me figure things out for myself. It's pretty deep stuff and feels like there's a mystery now to what could happen in the future.
I haven't played video games in a few months, I got rid of them, but I still occasionally play some kind of mini game on Facebook and I haven't smoked weed for a couple of years and I've significantly cut down on the other activities I've mentioned and have I'm going to keep trying to eliminate these things from my life.
This website is really cool and I still haven't gotten through most of it yet.
Thanks again, you guys rock.