Best Friend is Trapped in TikTok Conspiracies

[Domzh]

Since covid, one of my closest friend has gone deeper and deeper down the conspiracy spiral.

It started with not trusting authorities and vaccines (understandable to some extend), followed by 911, aliens, ancient advanced civilizations (hankock driven), pyramides being power plants, to flat earth.

I lost more and more respect for a person i really liked. Even with all this outlandish nonsense i tried to somehow understand where hes coming from and why he formed these beliefs.

Tonight he told me that he truly believes Charlie Kirk wasnt shot and it was in fact a hologram hoax. I usually know every conspiracy theory in existence but this was new to me. He then shared the video with me that made him believe in this narrative.

Its so insanely stupid i cant even make fun about it. Its by far the dumbest thing i have ever, ever come across on the internet. Reading the comments under the video was even worse, countless of comments of people thinking they have figured it all out and how everyone else is a sheep
or braindead.

Everything inside me wants to just scream at him how he could possibly believe in this stupid bullshit.

It reached a point where discussions go by the same pattern all the time.

He presents a theory, i challenge it with facts, he questions my facts by asking me how i can 100% be sure that this is truly a fact (which i cant be sure of - rationally thinking) then presenting his own arguments which are just made up bullshit.

Im usually a very rational, collected and calm person but this level of pure ignorance and stupidity is unbearable.

How can i deal with this, is there any hope to bring him back to "normal"? I think he formed his full identity around not being a sheep and being smarter than everyone else that there doesnt seem to be a way back without loosing his face.

Heres the hologram-kirk theory video, its so insanely stupid i dont even know how to describe it. How someone possibly can think this sounds credible is beyond any imagination. Youtube Video

 

[JMartJr]

You have all my sympathy. I have been blessed, so far, that nobody I care about has fallen into the spiral of paranoid conspiracy theory belief that is gripping the culture right now. It has got to be both maddening and heartbreaking.

It may be heartening that your friend is still willing to talk to you about it. So many of them seem to cut off all their old friends and relatives who won't go along with them into the madness. I can imagine how hard that must be for you, but keeping that line of communication open is probably a good thing. I don't think there is anything you can do to drag them out of the pit they're falling into, but if they ever decide to think about climbing out, you can be a lifeline for them.

I can't express how much I wish I know a magic answer to share with you. There does not seem to be one. But if you can be there to be supportive if they ever decide to turn themselves around, that would be helpful to them -- with the proviso that when it gets so bad that you've done all you can stand to do, that's all you have to do, you are not required to wreck your own life over somebody else insisting on wrecking theirs. There is no guilt with not going further than you can go.

If virtual hug from an elderly bearded kite flier is any good to you, you got one!

 

[deirdre]

Heres the hologram-kirk theory video, its so insanely stupid i dont even know how to describe it. How someone possibly can think this sounds credible is beyond any imagination. Youtube Video

that's a debunking video.

 

[Ann K]

@JMartJr just posted a couple of AI fakes; innocuous stuff with food, but perhaps showing him things like this will demonstrate that you CAN'T always believe your eyes, and that he should be leery of videos (or text messages) that show things that go against everything he has previously heard. What you see is not necessarily what you get.

https://www.metabunk.org/threads/ai...do-we-detect-their-trickery.14054/post-354399

 

[Gary C]

For me, step one is figuring out why any of this is important to him. If this is his way of interacting socially, arguing about it just reinforces his habit of finding new bs to argue about.

If you suspect that's what's going on, consider limiting your interactions to "normal" topics, e.g. sports, movies, food, whatever. When he tries to trot out his latest excursion into woo, tell him you don't find it interesting or worth your time. Keep going back to real life. Don't contribute to his conspiracy fueled dopamine cycle.

Limit your interaction to a level YOU can handle. Don't wear yourself out trying to deprogram him in real time. Come back to him as you are able with questions about him personally. Has he done anything in the real world this week? Did he catch the latest episode of your favorite show? Reinforce normality.

Check for ideas in the debunking forum - https://www.metabunk.org/forums/practical-debunking.22/
Or get a copy of @Mick West's book.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[deirdre]

If this is his way of interacting socially, arguing about it just reinforces his habit of finding new bs to argue about.

at least if hes talking in person then he isnt online. it seems people caught up in the online Twitter/youtube/Tiktok social life are losing it big time.

On an upnote, being a conspiracy theorist seems to be so common place these days that it's gonna lose its "special" status soon. Kinda like the alternative news of online personalities is becoming as bad and biased as the mainstream news they were supposed to be different from!



kinda weird the guy is on tik tok though. I mean... the commie mind control site? If you dont trust the 'authorities' thats the last site i'd use! (not that the youtube or twitter algorithms are likely much better).

But yea, feeding the beast (even with debunking) doesnt seem like a good idea really. I'd try to find a new topic to get my friend addicted to like a video game or hunting or rebuilding a classic car. <thats a guess of what guys might like to do, not what i'd literally choose to distract my actual friends.

 

[Gary C]

at least if hes talking in person then he isnt online. it seems people caught up in the online Twitter/youtube/Tiktok social life are losing it big time.

On an upnote, being a conspiracy theorist seems to be so common place these days that it's gonna lose its "special" status soon. Kinda like the alternative news of online personalities is becoming as bad and biased as the mainstream news they were supposed to be different from!



kinda weird the guy is on tik tok though. I mean... the commie mind control site? If you dont trust the 'authorities' thats the last site i'd use! (not that the youtube or twitter algorithms are likely much better).

But yea, feeding the beast (even with debunking) doesnt seem like a good idea really. I'd try to find a new topic to get my friend addicted to like a video game or hunting or rebuilding a classic car. <thats a guess of what guys might like to do, not what i'd literally choose to distract my actual friends.

Good points that prompted a new question for me. Is this lack of self-awareness/self-reflection a common trait among conspiracists? Is it something we could measure?

 

[deirdre]

Is this lack of self-awareness/self-reflection a common trait among conspiracists?

i think its common in all different types of various "group think" groups, not just conspiracists.

 

[JMartJr]

thats a guess of what guys might like to do, not what i'd literally choose to distract my actual friends.

This obviously does not apply to ME, of course, but a lot of folks do seem to enjoy a good all-consuming hobby to get caught up in. I'd write more, but I have to go put up another shelf for my space-ship model collection, on the wall over my fabric-cutting table for kite making...

 

[Ann K]

This obviously does not apply to ME, of course, but a lot of folks do seem to enjoy a good all-consuming hobby to get caught up in. I'd write more, but I have to go put up another shelf for my space-ship model collection, on the wall over my fabric-cutting table for kite making...

And I'll head up to my studio. I have to use up some large canvases before I kick the bucket!

 

[John J.]

I'd try to find a new topic to get my friend addicted to like... hunting

I think Deidre's advice is well-intentioned and comes from the heart.
But if someone is losing touch a bit with consensus reality, and has an unusual interest in political assassinations and fears of manipulation by hidden groups, maybe don't encourage them to buy a rifle.
Kite-making, painting, classic cars, all cool.

 

[deirdre]

But if someone is losing touch a bit with consensus reality, and has an unusual interest in political assassinations and fears of manipulation by hidden groups, maybe don't encourage them to buy a rifle.

i was trying to get them outdoors and exercising a bit under the trees. i was gonna say "become bigfoot hunters" because that's what i would do.

some people hunt with cameras.
Tresure hunting might be fun.

 

[MoldyKitten]

For me, step one is figuring out why any of this is important to him. If this is his way of interacting socially, arguing about it just reinforces his habit of finding new bs to argue about.

If you suspect that's what's going on, consider limiting your interactions to "normal" topics, e.g. sports, movies, food, whatever. When he tries to trot out his latest excursion into woo, tell him you don't find it interesting or worth your time. Keep going back to real life. Don't contribute to his conspiracy fueled dopamine cycle.

Limit your interaction to a level YOU can handle. Don't wear yourself out trying to deprogram him in real time. Come back to him as you are able with questions about him personally. Has he done anything in the real world this week? Did he catch the latest episode of your favorite show? Reinforce normality.

Check for ideas in the debunking forum - https://www.metabunk.org/forums/practical-debunking.22/
Or get a copy of @Mick West's book.

Let us know how it goes.

My boss is a boomer and heavy into conspiracy theories, he's gotten progressively worse since COVID. I believe part of his obsession comes from the fact that he truly believes that he's smarter than everybody else and that he's always right. Any conversation always has to turn to some conspiracy theory, if you tell Him you're not interested he resorts to playing videos on his phone at full blast. He's recently fallen into the chemtrail rabbit hole, it was previously "Jewish space lasers" and "MRNA is bad" kick

 

[MapperGuy]

i was trying to get them outdoors and exercising a bit under the trees. i was gonna say "become bigfoot hunters" because that's what i would do.

some people hunt with cameras.
Tresure hunting might be fun.

If they don't want to be outdoors get them interested in sport Lockpicking.
Check out the LockPickingLawyer videos on YouTube. That guy can open any ordinary lock or padlock in seconds. You will never trust your locks again.
Lockpicking is a sport, with competitions and all (although I don't know how widespread). And I would think relatively inexpensive.